Reddit confronting abusive parents. Significant others and friends are all welcome.

Reddit confronting abusive parents Source: 30 years of having abusive parents. I'm 35F, married, mother to a toddler. I would not permit a spouse to abuse a child in this way. Throwaway account, because I don't know if I want my entire family to know this story and they know my reddit username. We take sub members' safety very Then he would laugh at me and tell me that I was weak and pathetic. A survivor sub exclusively for children raised by a toxic parent or guardian with borderline personality disorder/emotionally unstable personality disorder. I think a lot of it depends on why you confront you parents. Emotional abuse is still abuse- and often it escalates over time. I haven't been able to tell him about the actual abuse he enabled and did, but he wouldn't be able to hear it anyway. When I was 17 I started uni but was too young to leave as I was denied loan funding as it was expected my parents aka dad would pay. " That wasn't my mom. Often, emotionally abusive parents display their selfishness by forcing you to meet their expectations and needs before your own. And it is not just cheating parents who abuse their kids, even parents who are well-united think of child as their possession and beat/abuse him to get maximum ROI. You're not trapped, no one is ever trapped, it's just going to involve a lot of work to extricate yourself Your father is an abusive waste of oxygen. I got into therapy now during the pandemic, I'd hit a complete rock bottom with my mental and emotional state. I (24M) am debating on confronting my mother about the abuse from my childhood. The Background: I am a 26 year old female, and I'm the youngest of 5. I was trying to go to sleep but I failed to so I ended up heading to the bathroom. I’m 14 FTM living in Ontario Canada and I’ve made posts wondering if CPS would help me get out of my house due to verbal abuse, physical abuse in the past, threats of violence, and so much more. To have parented that way they will have had to convince themselves they're right. r/Music — Reddit’s #1 Music Community — “Life is a song Posted by u/words_i_cant_speak - 13 votes and 2 comments Each time confronting my mother about where my cat was, as well as the bubbling forces bottled up of all of the abuse I've experienced. Also, if the situation is truly an abusive one, there is absolutely Nothing that can be said or done to change the parent's behavior. I have two… Posted by u/timjimthegreek - 4 votes and 2 comments It had no rage or slurs in it-it is just a factual statement of the abuse I now clearly recall she had done to me, despite being my mother. Mar 23, 2018 · First of all, the dialog with the parents usually does include an empathic discussion of the family dynamics and the reasons for the parents' problematic behavior (metacommunication) (How this is Jul 18, 2024 · Report the abuse. 133 votes, 43 comments. I had an abusive dad. I grew up with an abusive father. I don't think they understand that you can feel love for someone and abuse that person at the same time. Then, the third time I went over, I noticed what looked like a decomp stain on the carpet, in the exact shape of a cat, positioned in a 3/4th loaf, as a cat does, with its head touching the ground. Before confronting, you would need to spend some time with your parent and assess whether or not there is any openness. Despite I should have known better I confronted both my parents for slight physical and severe emotional abuse. i dont really wanna get into detail about my life since im rly tired rn, but i just wanna get tips on what to do for running away from abusive parents, well rather a verbally abusive dad. I don't even see them as my parents anymore to be honest. I’m not out as trans to them. You can contact a trusted adult, mandated reporter (teacher, therapist), Child Protective Services or law enforcement. She tried to keep me from my friends, always having some reason why whoever I was meeting wasn’t a good person or whatever. i mean there's therapy, but have you guys tried directly confronting the… TLDR: When you have an emotionally abusive parent who wont change, what would you do? My sister (27F) and I (23F) grew up in a dysfunctional household. In the end I stopped bothering to tell my parents about the abuse from my brother and just put up with it every day. This is abuse. Due to her illness she is verbally and emotionally abusive to my parents and has erratic mood swings multiple times a day. But its my own story. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 5 votes and 5 comments Im an 18 y/o woman looking for advice. I know my narcissist parents are incapable of realizing they are at fault. They no longer speak and our dad is not able to give us advice. My dad was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis right before she moved in. My parents are Arab, Muslim, extremely transphobic and traditional. He progressed so quickly that he had to get a lung transplant. A community for adult children that are, are thinking about, or were estranged from one or both of their parents. They focus more on having their needs satisfied. My dad is very emotionally abusive to mom. No family content in any context including parent/family at any level including family dynamics, background/childhoods or the abusers family at all in any way; No inappropriate content (TV Shows, Movies, Books not releated to healing from abuse, Celebrities, News or Social Discussions). It's also really long. What do you mean “allow” her to confront your father? Are you an adult? If your father is as dangerous as you say then you’d all be better off if you went to a women’s shelter until you could be ok financially to leave him. Emotional neglect. Warning: Language, sexual abuse, mental and emotional abuse. I was at my parent's house for the weekend from college. I've seen that from other parents who use the excuse "I didn't know what to do and 'insert abusive religious leader name here' seemed to have the answers. Notifying an adult other than the abuser is the most important part of dealing with abusive parents. This is a place for people to vent, seek support, or offer advice to others who are going through similar situations. This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with… I’m 14 FTM living in Ontario Canada and I’ve made posts wondering if CPS would help me get out of my house due to verbal abuse, physical abuse in the past, threats of violence, and so much more. Unfortunately in situations such as these it is very difficult to change their mind. I’m resentful of my siblings who maybe don’t care as much if my parents are gaslighters or if my parents abuse them emotionally. My dad was emotionally abusive and physically. I once tried telling him honestly how I was doing, the abuse came up and he just stated that I was making things up and "that's the therapist talking". Forgive me for my explanations, I’m just very stressed and pressured right now so my ideas are everywhere. I was a senior, and was close to graduating. I implied that the things he did to my brother and me was not great and had affected us in a bad way ( my brother tried to kill himself the last year and we were talking about him. African parents can be hard to deal with, and the idea of this community is to take off some of the stress that comes with having them through jokes, embarrassing stories, and advice. there isn’t much you can do in the situation to fix it for her. This isn't a healthy relationship. So they aren't going to own up to it and that's likely going to cause even more pain and suffering. That had to be tough for my mom, knowing the abuse, slander, and gaslighting that was ahead but she was in a tough spot as she believes against separating a child from their parent even if they are terrible. It’s not actually helping the child to confront the parents in public. It sounds like I’m being hyperbolic, but let me lay it out. My choice is not to, because it would risk upsetting your delicate situation of living with them while they support you through school. Upon that, m This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). You aren't getting the support you deserve and need. I (21 F) have been considering confronting my parents about all the things that they've done because I think that it would be cathartic. That she does this with your father and the behavior continues is a sign that the family system dynamic is out of whack. Education is key in this process. You just need to do your best to protect your sister the best way you can because you will likely never get help from your parents at any time now or in the future. From what I can tell there are kind of two main reasons with more than a little bit of overlap. Basically there’s been physical abuse mostly in the past but verbal abuse… Sometimes people hear you but they just don't care because abuse gets people what they want. all you can do is be there for her until she finds a way out. Ive delt with abuse my whole life, im 19 now and my parents split apart when i was 17, they were both abusive onto me but was better when they split. They are going to be upset by the mere fact you think you have a life outside of them. You will be away from your abusive parent(s) far longer than you were ever with them. i just really couldn't stand it anymore and ive tried reaching out help but it didn't work out for me. To put it simply, our mother (62F) is a Should I confront my parents about the abuse I received as a child or should I just try to or get it and moved on with limited to low contact? Trigger warning for child abuse and suicide I have recently come to the realization that my childhood was not normal and was abusive. Most abusers aren't cognizant of their behavior. until then, i get it’s difficult but HER having abusive parents doesn’t mean you need to fix her life for her. The abuse only really stopped at 18, when I finally walked out after being slapped and joined the Army. 37 votes, 83 comments. Posted by u/Repulsive-Form6983 - 1 vote and no comments That's a real personal choice, whether to confront or not. It is your mothers job as a parent to protect you and your sister. Doesn’t work and by showing your “weakness” it only gets worse. They were part of the same conversations but they still keep contact and my parents are involved in their lives. for me while my parents are no way abusive at all (they're wonderful actually), They do have their moments and issues. I don't think an abusive parent can admit to themselves that they were abusive in most cases. Please share your stories, your questions, your histories, your fears and your triumphs. I… This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). Good parents don't do this. I have tried talking with my abusive parents dozen of times, but they will just turn it around and say that I am abusive and things get 10 times worse. It started out small, stuff you’d really have to pay attention and put the puzzle together to notice then got increasingly worse as he went from a baby to a YTA. Posted by u/newhereneedadvice - 3 votes and 2 comments This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). I'm not sure what kind of abuse this is. I kinda just need to vent cause I haven't gotten to say shit first hand to anyone about my problems in genuinely years. It's tough. I believe my dad is a covert narcissist and growing up I believed he was a psychopath because a lot of his treatment towards me was unusually cruel. Posted by u/sugarcoatedpearls - 17 votes and 8 comments This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). New comments cannot be posted. Confronting them on this will only make them double down on their abuse and that is not a good thing for me to have to experience. Sexual, physical verbal abuse. Anyone who is emotionally/verbally abusing you does not deserve to be with you. I like to think I have an okay relationship with her as an adult, I check her behavior towards me constantly, talk to her about day-to-day things, and discuss the more mild aspects of the abuse. That’s a really great question that I’m not sure has a perfect answer. On my mothers side her two brothers are very antisocial, one of them has been unemployed for years and the other one is in an abusive relationship where hes taken advantage of. I was the abusive parent. Those are the ones you want to get away from ASAP!! They’re not going to listen to anyone unless it’s EXACTLY what they want to hear. I guess maybe I'm a bit further ahead than some people who first come to her for counseling, in that I have already realized my parents won't change and have decided that I don't want to have a relationship with Share your African parent struggles, memes, stories, breakthroughs, or ask for advice! All ethnicities are welcome. I recently decided to stop accepting the abuse from my mother, and to try confront my father for enabling. This is a constructive, supportive space to find healing from your abusive parent and dysfunctional home. We can’t just detach from our parents to find our way. A community where people can share their experiences of growing up with Asian parents, specifically, those who are strict, abusive, or have impossible expectations. Also to add, if I may, that (based on my experience) a lot of the time if you confront them they deny it being abuse, or try (and In their mind 100% succeed) in justifying their actions/words/abusive behavior. Even after my parents divorced years later and my older brother came back to live with my younger brother and mother, he was still abusive and she still did nothing until he left again. This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). However, I'm scared, understandably so. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 7 votes and 7 comments I mean childhood trauma. I'm 43, white, have 1 sibling, a twin sister. Every parent is doing the best they can, and not everybody follows attachment parenting. I'm on mobile, and English is one of my native languages. Saying that abusers know they are abusers is difficult. She wasn't "tricked" into abusing her kids. She wasn't "suckered" into HS us. He's been in the hospital for almost a month. 933K subscribers in the raisedbynarcissists community. Im 14 FTM living in Ontario Canada and I’ve made posts wondering if CPS would help me get out of my house due to verbal abuse, physical abuse in the past, threats of violence, and so much more. Posted by u/Storyteller164 - 35 votes and 6 comments This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). So I waited a shitty first year of uni and then as soon as I could I left. It might sound hard but they are sort of the tectbook definition of a loser. It seemed no matter what we did they couldn’t be happy about it, the minute we disagreed or misbehaved we get a combination of physical and verbal abuse. Posted by u/isaackinnie - 3 votes and 3 comments Children of abusive parents, how did you deal with it? Locked post. I was wondering if anyone here has had experiences confronting their parents and how you prepared yourself/how it went. So lemme start off with what happened during March of this year, 8 months ago. And I have apologized to her for not going sooner. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 4 votes and 2 comments This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). I know my mom, the abusive parent, won't respond well. A kid crying and a parent handling a situation poorly is not great, but also not abuse. Also all my grandparents are dead so my parents cant fix their relationship with them. PLEASE READ THE RULES before you participate. Yesterday was a horrible night for me and my parents. You're just observing that when she isn't enraged about some trifle, she behaves somewhat normally. Honestly. But we can distinguish between reasonable and unreasonable demands from our parents. They will have a comeback to everything you say. " set of mind. Posted by u/crazymomsthrowaway - 4 votes and 10 comments This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). 21 votes, 12 comments. I am in my 30s, and I had many instances whereby I tried to more or less confront my parents (my dad is now dead), and it never went well—mainly because it’s about validation and these people aren’t capable of doing that in the way you both deserve and need. Abuse is not something that is easily dealt with on your own. I'm not sure if my enabler dad would understand – I think he'd be shocked. I’m satisfied in my own actions and feel like it’s okay to continue my low/no contact. He doesn't understand why we aren't close. She is NOT a good parent. As a child my father rarely showed us affection and my mother has a tongue of poison. Abusers won't admit they are abusers. Thus, identifying it is more difficult because the sexual nature of the action is disguised. My parents physically abused me until 18 and now emotionally abuse me at 29 and I've begun emotionally abusing them back upvotes · comments r/abusiveparents Oct 20, 2024 · I really, really hate to tell you this, but as someone who had abusive parents, and tried this - DO NOT BOTHER. For more context, we’re both young adults in our 20s but we live decently far from each other. i’m not trying to sound insensitive just being a realist This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). Things escalated between my parents and now they are finally going to get a divorce. Significant others and friends are all welcome. Him making me look at myself while I cry (after hitting me) and telling me how ugly I looked is one of my first early memories. Especially because they're married. My father had, over the years, developed a "I call, you come to where I am. I hear of so many instances where people try confrontation and the abusive parent turns it around and accuses them of being the problem not the parent. The sex offender acts as if they are doing something non-sexual, when in fact they are being sexual. My mom sometimes acted like she would understand what she did wrong and she even promised to help me confront my father but ended up turning against me in the situation. I would then get shouted at by my parents for crying and “making things up” because my brother would lie about it all and deny everything. I have been living away from home for the last five years and have a mom and younger sister back… Oct 18, 2024 · Often, emotionally abusive parents were themselves victims of abuse or neglect. I'd appreciate perspectives from people who have told their abusive parent(s) that they are/were abusive. The reason I'll never confront my mom is the fact that it would change absolutely nothing. Personally, I maintain a superficial and fairly distant relationship with my family rather than confront childhood abuse and neglect with them. Abusive parents just deny, deny, deny and give "reasons" why they treated you that way. So, this is the first time I have ever posted on Reddit, so handle me with kiddie gloves. He wouldn't give us money, threaten to leave us, make physical threats, accusations… This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). Posted by u/alugo6555 - 5 votes and 5 comments if they are truly abusive, call the fire department or have her file for emancipation. Hey everyone, idk whom to ask for advice and what to do, so I guess iil try asking you allI will give a bit of context first:- I'm in 12th and both my parents are very abusive, my mom and my dad beat me up regularly over the smallest things but iil basically tell you all the major stuff that happened in the past 2 months Posted by u/acoolsnail - 1 vote and 1 comment This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). He was emotionally abusive to me(25) when I was a teenager. Confronting my parents in an “abusive” manner I was feeling angry and threw my remote on the sofa in a fit of rage but I made sure to do it away from my mum in a separate room, she got annoyed at me claiming that she has to walk on eggshells around the house because of me. Posted by u/meatadvice - 6 votes and 8 comments This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). The more we talk about emotional abuse and its effects, the better equipped we are to recognize and address it. I'm considering talking to my abusive parents. My parents weren't able to contribute to higher education. If they are coming from narcissism, there will only be denial. Unfortunately it might be the case where you have to lower your expectations and try to meet these needs of being understood in people other than your family. I had my daughter young (16) I look back and realize I have alot of childhood trauma. . We take sub members' safety very My parent wasn’t obviously abusive, more of a constant undermining of confidence and nitpicking. I'd document in your own records and then move on. I'm considering confronting my formerly physically abusive mother. Sitting and talking with your abusers is like talking with your bullies. Emotional abuse, physical, & some inappropriate sexual abuse. I dont visit him often because of how toxic and narcissistic asshole he is, I've debated cutting him out many times and havent gone full through with I was not abusive towards my kid in any way however, my ex husband (his bio dad) was very abusive, violent, manipulative and neglectful towards me and then eventually towards our son. Covert sexual abuse is more insidious than blatant sexual abuse. I had worked hard. He didn’t. Confronting may be too strong a word (in my situation at least), but I'm curious about other's experiences with trying to have a conversation with your narcissistic parent about your childhood or the way their behavior affects you. please, any help would do. It was me talking, they were my own words. In developed countries,physical abuse or even neglect of kids means jail term for parents, or that they will lose their kids to child-protetcion-services I am not someone that is easily triggered, but trigger warning for abuse and the like. It had no rage or slurs in it-it is just a factual statement of the abuse I now clearly recall she had done to me, despite being my mother. This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or… Hello, I am a 23 years old old woman from India. 909K subscribers in the raisedbynarcissists community. You may be stopping how the parent is treating the child out and about, but I can guarantee that kid (if the parent is actually abusive) is going to get all the bottles up emotions from that day when they get home. A lot of the time the person in the abusive relationship believes that they can change them especially if they weren't always that way or seem to have periods of times where they are better. For more context, I ended up dating one of my friends and I recently learned she had abusive parents this entire time and has repressed talking about it for ages. Our parents had a strained marriage but did not officially get divorced until 2020. Now I am devastated as it took me years to reach this point of being ready to stand up to them and confront them. This doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it can help explain it and point the way towards breaking the cycle. You will only get more grief, not validation. Not really being able to hang out with friends,due to parents being overly clingy, both parents sitting on their asses and not helping keeping the house cleaned, me making dinner almost every night. Common reasons for estrangement are abuse, differing expectations about family roles, neglect, clashes based on personalities, or value systems like religion. I wanna start by saying I felt really great after confronting my parents so I’m 100% biased. It wasn't worth my time or energy. Now that I am out of the house, we have a very shallow and strained relationship. (TW: emotional abuse and mentioning physical abuse, suicide) I didn't even really confront him. I’ve posted here about my parents before. I think a lot of that like you said has to do with the tough upbringing and stresses that came with it, they grew up having to work to put food in the table, while they weren't the worst the poorest in the region, it wasn't easy either. It's something we can't change. Jun 5, 2024 · My brother and I, primarily driven by the desire to have a relationship with our parent, sought HIM out around age 11-12. I’m 14 living in Ontario Canada. Hell, most Adults are Nervous when they have to confront their parents. This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). Oct 19, 2020 · Your parent might have dissociated from their abusive treatment of you, and confronting them might actually make it harder to have a better relationship. tmqjd ugvz dvuemfws ahfda cwog jgymn yvml xziu tgk eqdaa